Waking up at 03:20 am

Selfies with my family.

I met death at dawn. It had taken my mother away from us...
I had a terrible dream. The dream felt real. I was sad and everyone around me could see that I was saddened by the whole thing but I was frustrated in that dream. People couldn't understand why I cried the way I did. I couldn't accept the situation because to me when death arrives in the family it should give us signs, signs that we can contemplate on after the funeral. That's the time when we sit down  and remember the moments we had with the deceased. It is during that time when we are able to point out certain things that gives us hints of the manner in which the person died, what their last words were and their behavior in general.   In that dream, I remember saying that there were no signs, there was nothing that my mom did or said that we could look back at and say, "yeah she was prepared to go." I couldn't heal in that dream, I failed to understand why she died the way she did, without hints.  I was left in the dark, saddened. In the last part of the dream, I thought of my dad, Pawe I asked someone if he had seen him and I was told he was doing laundry. He was with my son, like always. He was hiding away from me because he couldn't stand looking at me. We were both sad and I said to him, "Pawe, pelo yaka e botlhoko. (My heart is sore)." He held back his tears for both my and Bokkie's sake. Then said, "Let me get you pain killers."

My beautiful Family, i just had to capture this moment.

I woke up from that dream and tears were still on my eyes,  i continued to cry and prayed. I prayed mostly because it was a dream and I could relive my life with my loved ones. I love my parents and family but God spoke to me in that dream, it felt like he said, " Appreciate the little things in life. Love and honor your parents. I can choose to take them back to me and leave you to learn life without them. I can also keep them for you to appreciate and honor them." The dream was sad because it was about death but the beauty of it was the wisdom I got from it. There's nothing sad than wishing to tell your parents or anyone important in your life that you love them when they have departed from this world. We are all given an opportunity to change our lives and do the little things that make our loved ones feel loved. It's not about the worldly things, it's not about the gifts, it's not about the good food it's not even about showing the world that you love them by publicizing everything you do for them in the social space. However, it's about love, time and knowing how to use them both. Spending time with them, especially the parents is wisdom. Loving and honoring them is life. It is beautiful.

My family means a lot to me and I appreciate that not one of the important puzzles is missing. I thank God for the wake up call. Some don't have parents, some don't have the things that we have but do a better job than us. When Kanye West said people never get the flowers while they can still smell them. He spoke about our situations in life. Appreciation, love and respect should be what we give to our parents. There's no use buying them expensive coffins and flowers when they are dead. The opportunity is now to show them how much we care.  I know i don't give them much but I am going to try and be better than I was yesterday. 03:20 in the morning was a life changing event for me. I have learned and will keep my promise. Honoring my parents will be the order of my life until they are no more. In Jesus name Amen.