Ok I've gained weight...I know! You don't have to shout and tell me about it.

Today there's a lady that said to me "You are full. Can you see that?" It's even nice in English in Setswana she said "O tletse wa ipona?" I just responded "It's because I'm happy." and honestly, I wasn't happy to say that. I just wanted to be rude but let it go.

This lady is much bigger than me but had the audacity to comment about my weight. Like I don't already  know that I've gained weight! She didn't even greet me...Or tell me my dress was nice or my haircut suits me...Or even say she hasn't seen me in a while. And the first thing she comments about is my weight! I'm just frustrated with people commenting about my weight all the time. And funny, no women likes the "fat comment" she herself wouldn't like it if I had said that to her.

Weight is a big issue for a lot of women in the world and it becomes an even bigger problem when women get attacks from other women. It's not nice guys!

So, I started gaining weight a year ago and ever since then, every time I meet people who haven't seen me for as long as they haven't, they tell me about my weight. I really am sick about it. Sometimes when I think I won't give a toss about what people say I end up getting angry because I'm working hard to lose the weight I've gained and It's hard!

These comments have affected me to a point that I've stopped walking around the business park. I've stopped buying food from the cafeteria and I knock off late when people have left because I'm trying to avoid the same comment every day. There was a pregnancy rumour going on around the park and it wasn't nice.

Sometimes you don't realise how your comments affect a person's mood and self-esteem. They are really nasty people!
Ok I've gained weight...I know! You don't have to shout and tell me about it. I'm already struggling with losing it!

I'm just at a point where I'll be rude when people are rude to me. If I'm rude to you when you comment about my weight please don't feel offended because what you think is just a comment or an ice breaker is actually a confidence breaker. I'm not about that business... I'm even losing my social life because I'm tryna avoid your fat comments...Just shut up if you have nothing nice to say.

Oprah Winfrey - Stop wasting time!

THE ONE THING OPRAH WANTS YOU TO DO

Once in a while, I listen to Oprah's wisdom talks and they get me back on track when I move in the wrong direction.  I sometimes lose it and waste time, I am very good at procrastinating and I am not saying it with pride. I get distracted and I struggle to keep up.  I watched this video on my procrastination mode and I said "STOP WASTING TIME" It came at the right time when I was indeed wasting time. This video was just a reminder to me. I have wasted time that I will never regain. It's hard sometimes to do things according to plan when they get distracted by unplanned staff which takes up a lot of time.  I have been preoccupied and I need to go back. I need to live my life and do the good that I have come to do. This talk is speaking to me and I need not waste any more time. Let me just be myself!  

Phenomenal Woman - Maya Angelou

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size 
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips, 
The stride of my step, 
The curl of my lips. 
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, 
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please, 
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees. 
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees. 
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes, 
And the flash of my teeth, 
The swing in my waist, 
And the joy in my feet. 
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered 
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them, 
They say they still can't see. 
I say,
It's in the arch of my back, 
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed. 
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud. 
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels, 
The bend of my hair, 
The palm of my hand, 
The need for my care. 
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
—Maya Angelou

How to Know When You've Found Your Purpose in Life

I love listening to Oprah while working and today was no different. I was listening to a conference she had and she was there to inspire young people who are still searching for meaning in their lives. As someone who knows what she wants I sometimes fear the things I think about...I wonder how I am going to handle all of them but people like Oprah Winfrey just give one hope. Its like they are standing right next to you, saying..."You can do it." So, as I was watching this inspirational video she shares a story of a woman she had an interview with and the lady said, "When you betray yourself, you are no different to the person that hurt you." I was like wow! We need these words in our lives. Sometimes we blame people for our own betrayals.

I am Paballo Seipei, today I was just mind opened by Oprah's talk.

Gratitude is the way of life

Kgololoseo Phiri & Paballo Seipei

I just experienced a life enhancing experience. I had a conversation with my boyfriend about the future. And two days before this conversation I downloaded Oprah Winfrey’s lecture at Standford University which talks about spirituality, love and fulfilment. In this lecture she makes the students meditate and I also meditated. The thing that was meditated upon was life and the power within us. It was a meditation about the gratitude of life. Being grateful for every breath we take, being grateful for every experience and being grateful for an opportunity to change for the better.  As I was typing this, she was playing in the background and she was saying, “I have chosen love.” I typed it because what she was saying was what my boyfriend and I were talking about. We both chose love. Then I heard, “The kind of love that counts.” This love we have counts. This love says “I am here for you no matter what.” I suddenly realised that God was speaking to me through that lecture. I had an “Aha moment” thereafter. Downloading this lecture was like a preparation for the future, the future that my boyfriend and I talk about lately. God spoke to me and I listened. God is love and we chose love. That was the reason why that video found me.

The message I was left with was: “To master the power of your field you must consistently chose love, live in the space of gratitude and know that the power you feel from time to time comes from a source that is greater than yourself.”

I am Paballo Seipei and I believe in the supernatural power within me. Thank you God. 

Insecurity is not attractive

I'd like to think that I am one of the strongest people I know. However, I'd also like to think that i'm one of the craziest people I know. I've discovered lately that I've got two personalities that are very opposite to one another. The one that people know me with is very optimistic, sweet, loud, happy and charismatic while the other one is evil, investigative, insecure, and crazy...literally crazy. I don't portray that side me of me unless if someone has done something bad to me and I want to be spiteful and avenge. Andsometimes it appears from nowhere. I'm still trying to figure it out although its something I never want to face. I'm also possessive, territorial and I want everything for myself. I've seen people like those and never thought I had that in me. Idon't like them but I somehow fallinto that category. Anyways, I realised that my insecurities cloud my judgement, I react too quickly at times and I end up doing the wrong things. I end up being wrong. I don't want to be that person, Somehow i feel like it's the devil trying to build a home in me. I'm achild of God and I know these things happen when the devil wants to try people who fall on God's side and not his. I don't know how to explain this but someone who's seen that part of me said that I was insecure and that insecurity is not attractive. I'm just writing this as some kind of therapy. I don't have a storyline or motive this time.This is just me concerned about myself.

I am Paballo Seipei and today I just want to share even through it doesn't make sense.

Bokamoso and Mama's priceless bond.

My mom and son are not best of friends. In fact they don't get along when my dad is around but I've got to say they are the best of friends when they watch tv together without my dad's presence. I was sitting in my bedroom and when it was time for me to wash the dishes I had the privilege to listen to their conversation. My mom is the most sweetest and patient person I know and I happen to enjoy that side of her when she's chilling with my son. They were watching a movie and she was explaining everything that was happening to him. I don't think I have that patience and I respect her for that.

I'm just writing this blog to express the joy I have to have been blessed with parents who've parented my son since day one. I can't stop laughing listening to them. I laugh because I know she enjoys her time with him now that my dad is sleeping otherwise he (my son) would been bonding with his BFF Pawe (my dad). It's a little family feud that gets me mad at times but I love it because I'm glad my parents have their share of spending time with him and both enjoy it. I also love how they fight over him and how my son always take Pawe's side. He's loyal to him and so is Pawe to him. I'm just happy that my mom gets her shining moments at times like these. That melts my heart. 

I am Paballo Seipei and today I enjoyed the conversation I heard between my mom and son.