We can never have the ultimate satisfaction

I was watching the movie Jerusalem last night. I must say, it is my favourite South African movie. I just can't get enough of it. The script is beautifully written and touches on the real issues of life. As I was watching the movie, there's a scene where a white lady is looking for her drug addicted brother who was with a Nigerian drug lord in Hillbrow. Now, Hillbrow is one of the dangerous places in Joburg. It is the “Gangster’s paradise”.

This guy looks like he has everything at home but keeps going to Hillbrow, where his “Happiness” seems to lie. He gets high on drugs and gets missing, leaving the family especially the sister with stress. He was then taken back by Lucky, the main character of the movie. I was captured by the lady's response to Lucky's question when he asked, "What's wrong with you white people? You live in big houses....and, and, and" I can't remember all that he said but the lady answered, "I guess when you rich, poverty becomes glamorous."

The reality clock stopped for a bit. I had to think long and hard over what that lady meant. I was really moved by her response. I mean there's no better way of explaining what she said, it is definitely on point. She meant exactly what most people feel on their everyday life! I sometimes do too. We look at our lives and we are never satisfied.

We can never be fulfilled by what we have. Everything that we are not in possession of becomes glamorous. It might be a “better” car, house, job,  someone's significant other....if we don't have it we see it as glamorous, something that we would like for ourselves.

What I concluded with though is that in life we can have all the money in the world but remain unsatisfied. It is not because we are not blessed or that we can't have everything we want. It is rather because; life doesn't have the ultimate satisfaction. The rich look at the poor and they see what the poor don't, which can be 'satisfactory' to them. The same goes for the poor, they yearn to have a share of that richness in their lives and they think it will make them happier than they are. Satisfaction at the end of it all will never fulfilled.

 

My second mother’s day as a mother

It has occurred to me a couple of times that I am a blessed mother. I am surrounded by a structure of strong women in life. I am a mother to a son who has more than one grandmother and that makes me happy.

I didn’t have the privilege of meeting both my grandmothers when I was born. It bothered me at times to learn that I could never have the experience of a ‘grandmother presence’ in my lifetime. As I grew up I realised that my mother was old and that at times she played a role of mother and of a grandmother.

This is my second year as a mother and I dedicate this mother’s day to my mother. She is more of a mother to my son than I am to him. I fell pregnant while I was in college and my family; especially my mother supported me throughout. She took care of my son from the first day I went back to school. She has been my strength to all my weaknesses and I am a woman today through her motherly contributions. I love and admire her dearly. Happy mother’s day to her! God bless and keep her for us, in Jesus name, Amen.

To all the mothers in my life happy mother’s day. I love you all. A special dedication though goes to the following women:

Lydia Lebesa: My aunt and my friend! You have been all a daughter/niece needs. Most people know you as my biological mother but you are more than that to me. We have shared most experiences together and that has made our love for each other strong. We have travelled and seen it all. Your love and sacrifices have kept me going during difficult times. You have been good to me and I appreciate your love and support. May God bless you abundantly. Remember,  don’t give up on yourself even though it may be hard. Gift Lebesa needs you more. Stay as strong as you are and God will reward you for it.

Lebohang Lebesa: My sister! You and I have always shared the same dreams. We loved the same things growing up. Success is one of them. You gave birth to a beautiful son who I love so much. I take him as my own. I have mothered him and he trusts me to that level.  To you on this day I pray to God that he blesses you with all that you hope and wish for especially for Hlogi. Pray for him daily for he needs your prayers. He will grow up and make his own decisions, may they be guided by God. Stay as beautiful as you are. God bless you and always remember that my love for you will never change.

                                                                              

Promise to find a picture of her

Sonia Phiri: The woman who gave birth to the man I love. I thank you on this day for being a strong and beautiful woman you are. Being a mother to the father of my son is a blessing. He has inherited certain characteristics from you that I am proud of and admire. Respect is the one that stand out for me. Being a grandmother to my son is an even more blessing. You have been there from Bokamoso’s first day. I thank you so much. May God bless and keep you for many more years to come.

 

 

In conclusion, a mother is a mother to all children. Her love is always beautiful. Happy mother’s day to all you beautiful mothers in the world. Stay blessed with this beautiful scripture of love: Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not jealous, is not proud, is not conceited, does not act foolishly, is not selfish, is not easily provoked to anger, keeps no record of wrongs, takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

To Pawe with love

I have mentioned a couple of times that Pawe is my dad who came back from the dead. And NO! Not literally. He did not die but my biological father did. Pawe “replaced” my father a year after his death. I must say I am glad that my father died earlier than later…don’t get me wrong I am not happy about the fact that he died when I was young and I wish i could have known him better. What I am saying is that his death was never tragic to me because I did not understand much at that time. But I believe that my father came back in a form of Pawe.

Pawe and I knew each other long before my mom knew him. He came to our cleansing ceremony with our distant relatives and I must say I was happy to see him. We spoke for a bit and my mom was surprised to where I have met him but I eventually told her, just to quench the curiosity in her mind. They both liked each other and I guess that is why they are together till this day. Enough with their love story!

The reason I am writing this blog is because it is Pawe’s birthday and I just wanted to tell the world how much I appreciate him in my life. He has been around for as long as I can remember. I have most memories with him than I had with my biological father. God has been so good to me and I am blessed to have Pawe as my father and as a grandfather to my son. By the way, they are best friends forever. Wherever he is, there will  Bokamoso be. Happy Birthday to him. May he stay as he is until Bokamoso’s memory box is able to capture all the moments they have together.

God bless him Amen!

Lana Del Rey for Pablo Del Pey!

Lana Del Rey - Video Games

I first heard Lana Del Rey on Trace tv with her song "Video Games". I was with my boyfriend at that time and for a moment that song changed the mood in the house. The melody created a nostalgic effect and all we could do was wonder who she was. Her unique style and seductive voice took our imaginations to video games...we both realised the beauty of video.  I then concluded, "Certain moments are meant to be caputred hey!"

I admire Lana's vintage style, her nails are to die for, her hair is always beauty queen styled and oh she is so seductive. I guess a little bit of seductiveness can have an effect in one's confidence. I chose to follow her because she is just unique! I listen to her songs and i'm like, "How does she come up with all these words." She is the kind that take me back to the times when class was on its peak!

I love Lana Del Rey...I'll have to call myself Pablo Del Pey!

A Kagiso love story

A kiss in the night is all right!

Once upon a time in Kagiso, there was a Prince named Kgololosego. Kgolo was a student at Vaal University and Trainee at Sasol. He was an ambitious young man looking for love.

Drinks at Liquidchefs

One day, while talking to his friend Oupa, Kgolo saw a brown-eyed Princess passing by. “Iyo your eyes!” he said in fascination. Feeling a funny fever rush through his blood, he paused for a moment admiring what he had just witnessed. He had never seen such beauty! Giving a wry smile pretending to have not heard that, she thought, “Can’t he see that they are contact lenses?”

Looking at her crossing the road, Kgolo asked, “Oupa, do you know her?”

Knowing that Kgolo possessed a fussy character Oupa answered, “Yes, we go to the same school. She is quite sweet.”

 “Then I have to get her,” he said in excitement, running after her. “Please wait for me!” he shouted.

She hesitated a bit but eventually waited. He looked like the kind of guy who just wanted play and nothing serious. That is not what she was looking for. She wanted a long term relationship, a fairytale kind of relationship, although that doesn’t exist in the real world. All she asked from God was man who would love, respect and be loyal to her.

Extending his hand towards her, he said, “Hi. My name is Nkululeko, what’s your name?” Having a conversation with her inquisitive mind she thought, “Nkululeko with a Tswana accent, please! I wonder if this is his real name or if he’s trying to score a point with a Zulu name.”

Also extending her hand with a tissue, looking him into his eyes she said, “Hi, My name is Paballo.” Noticing that he didn’t drop his eyes, she dropped hers instead with a bit of a smile. Without wasting anytime, he asked for her numbers but she said she didn’t have a phone. After a few minutes of probing, she eventually gave him the numbers.

To be continued...

I vow under oath that my life will change

Life has taught me two things; either we follow that of the world which will give us good times, memorable experiences and a huge possibility of turning its back on us when we least expect it to. Or, we can follow that of God’s path, which promises eternal life. The book of 1 John 2: 24-25 says, “Therefore let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, you also will abide in the Son and in the Father. And this is the promise that He has promised us—eternal life.” However, God doesn’t promise a smooth ride. Challenges will come and through our faith in him, all will end well.

I have been emotionally and psychologically challenged for the past months. I am on the verge of finding myself in life and what I need to do to get there. I feel like something is pulliing me back and I need to figure out what it is. I pray every moment I get but I have realised that praying without reverence can sometimes not bring the results we expect at that point in time. I started reading the bible again, I don’t know why I stopped but I am back at it. I have made a vow to read it every day because that is where the truth lies. I will focus on the book of Proverbs because it is all about wisdom, something that I need now. As someone who feels lost in the world, I feel like the book will open an island of thought where what I do is based on the wisdom I receive.

In life we chose what we think applies to us and I chose to follow the Christian teachings. I am not perfect and I have done some bad things, made bad decisions, some of them are unimaginable but I can’t punish myself for them. I can never repeat those mistakes but learn from them. The two paths in life determine what we’ll get later in life. I might not make sense now but this will be stored in archives and I can look back and testify that I have really maintained my choice of living.

“I Paballo Seipei, vow that I become a child of God who does everything by the Bible. I acknowledge the temptations that come with the world and take this moment to abide by the Bible and its teaching.”

I love me for my Bokamoso! He is the future...