I vow under oath that my life will change

Life has taught me two things; either we follow that of the world which will give us good times, memorable experiences and a huge possibility of turning its back on us when we least expect it to. Or, we can follow that of God’s path, which promises eternal life. The book of 1 John 2: 24-25 says, “Therefore let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, you also will abide in the Son and in the Father. And this is the promise that He has promised us—eternal life.” However, God doesn’t promise a smooth ride. Challenges will come and through our faith in him, all will end well.

I have been emotionally and psychologically challenged for the past months. I am on the verge of finding myself in life and what I need to do to get there. I feel like something is pulliing me back and I need to figure out what it is. I pray every moment I get but I have realised that praying without reverence can sometimes not bring the results we expect at that point in time. I started reading the bible again, I don’t know why I stopped but I am back at it. I have made a vow to read it every day because that is where the truth lies. I will focus on the book of Proverbs because it is all about wisdom, something that I need now. As someone who feels lost in the world, I feel like the book will open an island of thought where what I do is based on the wisdom I receive.

In life we chose what we think applies to us and I chose to follow the Christian teachings. I am not perfect and I have done some bad things, made bad decisions, some of them are unimaginable but I can’t punish myself for them. I can never repeat those mistakes but learn from them. The two paths in life determine what we’ll get later in life. I might not make sense now but this will be stored in archives and I can look back and testify that I have really maintained my choice of living.

“I Paballo Seipei, vow that I become a child of God who does everything by the Bible. I acknowledge the temptations that come with the world and take this moment to abide by the Bible and its teaching.”

I love me for my Bokamoso! He is the future...

My Birthday!

Oh, isn't she cute? Looking like a little boy lol.
I think i was a year and something months

So I am a November baby, which means I was made with love. I was conceived in February, the month of love and I am certain that Valentine’s Day was the day when a seed (me) was planted in my mother's womb.

My mother’s first born baby passed away, she was a premature and there were complications. She then waited quite some time before she could have me. I'd like to think that I am a blessing. I came at a time when they (my parents) were not expecting me. My mother had fear of having a baby since that tragedy. She was severely sick during that time and having a baby would either kill her or the baby.

My parents on their wedding day! Sorry couldn't rotate
 

When I was conceived, it was a moment of disbelieve for both of them. They wanted a baby but death was a wall that blocked them from having one.

 

So, they kept quiet about it until it was no longer something to hide. My mother was very sick throughout the whole pregnancy but trusted in the supernatural power for her and my wellbeing. The 29th of November came, this day 22 years ago. The strong woman gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and she called her Paballo. Paballo means protection. According to her, she gave me the name due to the fact that God protected both us from death. I love my name. I actually thought I was the only one in the world who had it but No!

   Ok, i didn't rotate this one. Sorry about that. This was my 6th
Birthday.
I remember it like it was yesterday!
 

 

Family of mine on my Christening Day!

Mama and I! 1st graduation

 My mother is the sweetest person I know and I have inherited that side of her. She is a God fearing woman, something that I have learned from her. I am thankful for her teachings for they have made me the woman I am today. I appreciate life today because of her.

 

A lot of people don’t know this. My biological father died when I was nine years old. The memories I have of him are blissful. He then came back in a form of another father, Pawe! I love Pawe, he has been there for most of my life. He treats me like his and I know God gave him to us because he fits well into our jigsaw puzzle.

Speaking of a puzzle, I am surrounded by love and on this day, I realise how special I am to everyone. As we grow, there is so much we learn from other people.  I have learned so much from different people.  Even random talks in a taxi ride or a shopping mall make an impact. The people I am surrounded with shape who I am. I have been blessed with a family that loves me for who I am and that has made me become comfortable with everything I do.

 

The pictures I shared are a journey of my life from being a toddler to a young adult.  I am getting better not older, like fine wine I mature with time. Happy Birth Day to me!

Story of my graduation, just expressing how happy i am for this day. Enjoy!

Thanks Giving!

Today I started fasting! This is the time I chose to thank God for being awesome! It has been a year of lessons, growth and establishment. I have had my fair share of ups and downs but have achieved a lot more than I thought I could. Therefore, I take this opportunity to say Thank you God for keeping me this far.

 
Most of the things that I asked from God have been fulfilled. I have managed to keep my job. Graduated! Confirmed my baptism and baptised my son. The list is endless but I fast for the following things in my life:

 

Spiritual Wellbeing


Day of Confirmation. We lit a candle of faith.

I have grown spiritually but still seek refuge in the Kingdom of God. I regard myself a student in this endeavour.

I want to reach a point where I breathe, eat, sleep and live the word of God. I thank Him for giving me strength to go back to church and seek Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour.  This spiritual wellbeing wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for His answer to my prayers.

 

  

Bokamoso



Bokamoso in his swim wear!

Very good with causing scenes

The new life in the house! My son is the happiest person I know. I prayed for him before he was conceived, prayed for him while he was in my belly and I pray for him every day. He is the best thing that has happened in my life. Glory be to God for him!

 

 

 

 

Family

We all come from a group of people, who trap us in mixed emotions, they make us laugh, mad, happy and crazy! But we love them anyway. I have been blessed with a family that loves one another even in bad times. They are the best and for that I am grateful! I thank God for my parents, who love my son more than me (rolling eyes)! They have played a role that I never imagined they could. Malizo,Lebo, Gift, Hlogi are the closest family members I have. We have had good and bad times together and for that our love is strong. This love we have is God!



Big family and friends.

 

My significant other

This sugar of mine (Kgololosego Phiri) has been there from my high school days. We have five years dating, been blessed with a son and strive to stay together. I always pray for him as my lover, friend, and father of my baby.

I know there’s no perfect couple and I always pray to God that we don’t get tempted by the things that come with the world. We have our ups and downs but we manage to work things out. It has  been a bittersweet journey and I thank God for coming this far with him! May he bless us with many more.

 

Work

My job has been another journey on its own. I would like to think that I prayed for it more than I prayed for anything else this year. It is because of this job we don’t go hungry at home. I believe God placed me here for a reason. I have grown in my career and sustained where I could. Thank you God for this job!

 

Friends

My friends and I are not as crazy and close as we wanted to be due to our busy schedules. We have reached a stage where we take things seriously. We pray together, laugh together and spend time with each other whenever we can. The conversations are different and more mature. God brought us together to help each other and I pray that we don’t end in the middle of nowhere. I am with them through Christ, therefore our friendship is protected.Thank you God for them!

God is my motherly instinct

My son chocked on Sunday during a church service! Lord I have never realised how much I value having him in my life until that moment. I was so terrified and saw my life shatter in a blink of an eye. I felt like something so great was being taken away from me, but my God said to me, “This is not the time or place for sorrow...”

So, some youth member we were sitting next to gave him a hard candy and my motherly instinct came to life at that moment but I ignored it. It had told me to break the candy into small pieces to avoid any unfortunate situation but I didn’t! I think about it and constantly punish myself, asking why I hadn’t followed that instinct.

As I reached down to my bag taking out my bible, Bokamoso pulled my jersey. He was choking and his eyes were filled with terror! It’s amazing how even young people get afraid of death, it is a painful experience (although he didn’t die but was close). He had something sweet stuck in this throat but wasn’t sweet anymore. I think it is safe to say that it was a bitter-sweet moment.

So I pulled him, rested him on my lap hoping that he’d cough it out. He doesn’t know how to talk and I couldn’t tell him to cough. That moment felt like a year of battle. I had him struggling on my lap, trying so hard to shake it out, my mind running wild with crazy thoughts. Thinking, the family would blame me for his death and I’d be labeled an irresponsible mother, “You hardly go with him to church, why did you take him with this time?”, “If you had taken the candy away, he wouldn’t have been dead?” The thoughts were just unbearable. I then gave him a slap on the back, screaming out loud but no one heard my cry because they were also singing out loud. Just when I wanted to literally stop the service and call for help, the candy came out! He cried loudly and I knew he was ok.

God would never let me suffer (I convinced myself), because I know people would talk but my motherly instinct would haunt me more saying, “I told you”!  The small prayer I gave during that struggle was proof that God is with us at all times. He told me before about the situation and I ignored Him. He was just giving me a lesson never to be forgotten. Whenever my motherly instinct kicks in, I know that God is talking to me.

Nomvula Mokonyane not an inspiration for me!



Picture taken from Google



Maybe if prostitution was legalized, life would make more sense. She says that the constitution should not discriminate but protect them, leave them to enjoy their women rights and do their jobs freely. The same woman who has been empowered to be educated, a member of the biggest party in the country, a woman who says she is fighting for the rights of other women and a woman who wears her church attire with dignity but talks about prostitution like some kind of a “career”.

Nomvula Mokonyane calls prostitution an “oldest profession” just because it has been there for years. She says,"We must begin to appreciate that commercial sex work is an industry here in Gauteng; we must deal with it objectively and with an open mind." What message are you sending to young people ma’am?

Maybe if she was fighting to introduce a programme that will empower women to engage in education more than selling their bodies. Then the movement would make more sense than what it is now.  There is no better way of justifying prostitution. It was never her dream to be a prostitute and I am certain that she doesn’t even dream of being one. That wouldn’t even be an option for her daughter.

The Ruth Firsts, Albertina Sisulus, Nkosazana Zumas and the Winnie Mandelas of the world fought for the future of this generation to see women prosper and erase the stereotype that women belonged in the kitchen.  But Nomvula seems to have forgotten that. Is this her way of saying to young girls, there is light at the end of the tunnel? “If you don’t want to go to school, the easy way is to sell your body, don’t worry the constitution is on your side.”

Not a good leader for me, SORRY!