Paballo is no Superwoman – I was defeated

No Superwoman!

I have recently been through a serious introspection and I realised that I do not possess the power of a superwoman. I can’t achieve everything at once, I am no Oprah Winfrey with a money tree and i fall under a group of people who have to put in extra effort to get what they want. There is so much going on in my life at the moment and the pressure is escalating. 

I have been sent to do a course in Digital Marketing. I was happy to have been given an opportunity to elevate my island of knowledge with regards to my daily duties at work. I was really excited and loved that after every session I understood more than what I heard about it. It was the new thing that I so badly wanted to do and understand. Of course after the training, one’s knowledge needs to be tested and so I wrote the exam. It didn’t turn out as I envisioned it to be. The funny part is that I dreamt that I failed the test a week before I got the results and when I got them, I had really failed. So I thought to myself, “Bad dreams do come true too.”

I opened that email and the fail was written in red. I was disappointed I won’t lie and I still am. I told my HOD and he said to me, “Sometimes you need to taste the bad apple to know how a good apple tastes like.” That is true but at that moment my heart wanted to change those results, I didn’t want to taste that apple, it was too bitter for my liking. I needed some sort of celebration in my life especially this year but I couldn’t, not yet that is. It felt like a slap on the face, everyone knew I went on this course and now everyone will know what I failure I am. I am really disappointed. 

Good & bad apple

So, Paballo Seipei is no superwoman after all. This is what I concluded as I was sitting at home, torturing myself with thoughts of self-pity and disappointment. There are reasons why I failed and thank God there’s a second chance, otherwise I would be miserable for days. Now that I know what a bad apple tastes like, I don’t have any desire to taste it again. I hope and pray that whatever I am preparing for will turn out exactly as I expect it to. Maybe I needed to taste that apple to realise that I am really no superwoman, just a human who experiences certain life lessons, failure being one of them.